We’ve all been there—those moments where everything feels too overwhelming, too intense, and way too much to handle. Maybe you’re in the middle of an argument, just received bad news, or stuck in a wave of anxiety, anger, or grief that feels impossible to escape. When you're in that place, it’s easy to spiral and make decisions that only make things worse in the long run. That’s where DBT Distress Tolerance skills come in—skills designed to help you survive emotional storms without causing more damage.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and focuses on managing emotional crises. The goal is not to solve the problem immediately or to erase difficult feelings but to help you get through the intense moment without making things worse. This isn't about "stuffing" feelings. These skills offer a way to cope until the storm passes, reducing the risk of impulsive behaviors like yelling, self-harm, quitting a job, or turning to substances.
A DBT therapist will often say that distress tolerance is like having an emotional first-aid kit. It’s not about fixing everything at once, but about helping you pause and find your balance when life feels chaotic.
Crisis Survival Skills: Your Emotional First-Aid Kit
When you’re in distress, it can feel like you’re drowning in intense emotions. Crisis survival skills help you hold on until the emotional wave passes. These skills are practical, grounded in research, and easy to learn with the help of a DBT therapist.
The main goal of distress tolerance skills is to help you get through difficult moments without making them worse.
Here are some of the most effective crisis survival strategies:
1. TIPP (Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, Progressive Relaxation)
Why it works: TIPP skills help reduce the body’s physical response to stress. When emotions run high, the body can become stuck in fight-or-flight mode. These techniques help regulate your nervous system quickly.
Temperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack. This activates the body’s “dive reflex,” which slows your heart rate and calms you down.
Intense Exercise: Moving your body burns off excess energy and helps shift your emotional state. Even 5 minutes of jumping jacks can help.
Paced Breathing: Slow, intentional breathing calms the body. Try breathing in for 4 seconds, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and release different muscle groups, starting from your toes and moving upward.
Example: After a heated argument with a friend, your body feels tense, and your thoughts are racing. Instead of sending an impulsive text, you splash cold water on your face. Your heart rate slows, and you feel clearer, able to respond with more control.
2. Distraction with ACCEPTS
Why it works: Distraction isn’t about avoiding your feelings forever—it’s about giving your mind a break so that the intensity of the emotion has time to decrease. This can help you get through the moment without acting impulsively.
ACCEPTS is an acronym for different distraction strategies:
Activities: Engage in something absorbing, like cooking, reading, or gaming.
Contributing: Help someone else—reach out to a friend or family member who may be struggling.
Comparisons: Remember times you’ve survived other challenges, and that this too shall pass.
Emotions: Watch a movie that makes you laugh or listen to a podcast (I love a good true crime or comedy podcast).
Pushing Away: Mentally set the problem aside for a while. Visualize yourself putting it in a container and closing it up for now - you can return to it when you're ready.
Thoughts: Distract yourself with mental activities like crossword puzzles or other activities that use cognition.
Sensations: Focus on physical sensations, like holding something cold or cuddling a pet.
3. Self-Soothing with the Senses
Why it works: When emotions are intense, self-soothing can help create a sense of comfort and safety. Using your five senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell—grounds you in the present moment and calms the nervous system.
Examples of self-soothing techniques:
Sight: Light a candle, look at calming photos, or spend time in nature.
Sound: Listen to calming music or nature sounds.
Touch: Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket, hold a soft object, or use a weighted blanket.
Taste: Sip warm tea or eat something soothing, like chocolate or fruit.
Smell: Use essential oils like lavender or light a scented candle.
The Goal: Don’t Make Things Worse
The main goal of distress tolerance skills is to help you get through difficult moments without making them worse. Emotions are like waves—they rise, crest, and eventually pass. These skills help you ride the wave without being pulled under.
A DBT therapist will guide you in practicing these skills so that they become natural tools you can call on when you need them most.
Want to Learn More or Work With A DBT Therapist?
If you’re curious about how these skills could help you manage overwhelming emotions, working with a DBT therapist can be a life-changing step. DBT therapy can help you build resilience and find peace in the middle of life’s storms. If you're located in Montana, Nevada, or Colorado, please reach out with any questions or head to my free consult to book a time to chat!
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